Aug 1, 2017

Tick-tock, tick-tock

I kept thinking of kids lately. I guess it's only natural at my age...? Damn biological clock.
I believe having a baby is an experience like no other, one that enriches your life in ways hard to imagine. It also seems like the hardest thing you can do – that’s why I can’t decide on doing it yet.
I guess I’ve always really liked babies and imagined myself having one... but the truth is I don’t like kids over a certain age. Once babies stop being babies, I’m out. They’re just so annoying, I can’t see myself taking care of one without going crazy. OK, so maybe there are exceptions. I’ve met a couple of kids that I actually liked, but none over the age of 7 and I’ve spent like an hour or two with them... who knows what they are like the rest of the time?
What if I won’t like my own kid? It’s a scary thought. It’s not like I can return it and get a new one hoping it will be better. I’d be stuck with it – what a motherly thing to say...right?
On the other hand, what if the kid will be perfect, but I’ll be the worst mother ever? I’m selfish, immature, irresponsible, lazy, scared to death that I might accidentally kill my baby... I’m totally ready to do this.
Actually I know I’ll never feel ready, but maybe one day I’ll just take the leap...see what happens.